G.E.H.R.K.E 8.5.04
By Andrew Gehrke


America is in a financial crap hole. Our businesses are in India, China, Mexico. Our pharmaceutical patrons are willing to travel up to Canada for something cheaper, or down to Mexico for something cheaper and unapproved as medically safe. We are spending millions upon millions of dollars for Iraq funding. This would include, but is not limited to: funding troops; helping rebuild what we destroyed; helping to train police; helping to train military; sending over food; gassing up planes to ship food and materials; paying pilots flying said planes. I could go on with little piddling occupations and reasons as to why we are spending there and not here, but I have an article to write.

Once upon a time America was great. Then the Pilgrims landed. Afterwards America was alright. Then the British began to kill the “Indians”, who, by all politically correctness, are to be known as “Native Americans” because the whole egotistical United States is terribly, terribly stuck on the whole racism mumbo-jumbo. So, Native Americans started dying, jobs were made, America became “great” with the whole “We are killing one another because we want cotton fast and you do not.” And, in all this greatness, we as Americans found ourselves divided, in debt, and eternally screwed. In this debt and dividedness, we decided to be the world’s police – the global Robin Hood – the patron saint of Earth. Where did that get us? People do not like us. I wonder why. We go to countries and force Christianity on them, though we believe in freedom of religion, we introduce foreign ideas, which completely disrupt the flow of things. We got a few good things out of it though. Aerosmith can fly around the world and be recognized – they can sing in English but everyone still loves them.

Good ol’ America! The land of the free, the brave, the job-threatened-working-man. Have you noticed that for being free we have a lot of laws? Not only that, but the cost of living is outrageous. Some people can afford it. They are the ones that lucked out. They do hardly any work and live like kings. There are some who work hard for the money… So hard for the money. So, you have the high and mighty, the middle class, and the poverty stricken. Government helps none of these. The rich have higher taxes, the middle class does not really get a break long enough for any extensive amount of anything to get high and mighty, and the poverty stricken get a cot in a gym with a can of soup for dinner. However, in all of this governmental glory and generosity towards American citizens, people over seas get better treatment. For every building we build over in Iraq, one does not go up for the homeless in America. For every giant bag of staple foods we send over seas, our poor get hardly anything for dinner. Instead, our American born citizens are displaced by illegal immigrants – they are kicked off the streets and out of parks for sleeping there – they are charged with ridiculous claims because they want some change and ask for it.

We do not have the money for this war. We do not have the money for anything overseas. We did not have it, and if this pointless waste of money continues, we will never have the money to work on our economy. With millions and millions of dollars being spent on funding for Iraq we could easily go an alternate route. Take, for example, an operation that would leave us with more money, and the same amount of enemies.

We, the United States of America, withdraw all Iraqis that we see fit to run Iraq: men, women, political leaders, generals, people that are not going to run around shooting our troops and bombing their own countrymen. We take these people, bring them to the U.S. then we bomb the whole country – women, children, civilians, military personnel. We just kill them all with a rain of hellfire. We use nukes if we must. While the dust settles and any radiation subsides, we take care of the Iraqis in our country that we brought over. We send them back after building up some buildings, we repopulate it with Iraqi immigrants and refugees in the U.S. and other countries, and then we let them do their own thing. That would be a lot more cost efficient. The ecosystem could be refurbished with plants and animals from surrounding countries.

That works for me. People would hate us as much as they do now. But not as many of them, since we bombed a whole country full of them. It may seem brutal, but they are bombing us. They have good reason to, but none-the-less. We did that to them anyways, right? We went in, did bombing runs, killed the innocent, all in the sake of “The War On Terror”, which brings to mind another problem with the U.S. We do not do what we say we are going to. But that is politics. A promise here, a backstab and deceit there. Here are a few examples from Mr. Bush himself: “We are going over to fight Osama What's-his-face.” “Osama is in Iraq!” “Osama and Sadam are in league!” “Sadam is hiding WMD in the name of terror!” “We could not really find anything… So, now, we have to rebuild that place and run its government…” “Christ! Why did we even go over there in the first place? Oh yeah! Terror… Fat lot of good that did us!”

Oh well – What is done is done, and there is no fixing that. In comes a new president, I hope, and in comes some new BRILLIANT ideas to make our country better, safer, and more efficient. No matter what the presidential outcome, we are still in debt up to our eyeballs – and that is if we stack every American on another’s shoulders. We are eternally screwed. The war on “terror” just made that point a little more clear. What are you going to do?

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