Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of All Ages...

Welcome to the very first edition of The Bueno Master speaks, the first of what will hopefully be numerous columns here in The Corner at BuenoMaster.com. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Andrew; I'm also known as The Bueno Master, and I'm the owner and webmaster of this here website. *Stylin' Thumbs Up!* In this column, I'm going to dabble in the news a bit, take a dip into the world of sports, and give you my take on whatever happens to drift my way. Here's hoping you'll enjoy it.


So What Have You Done For Me Lately?


U.S. officials confirmed Tuesday that another significant al Qaeda figure was captured in the weekend raid in Pakistan that nabbed suspected September 11 mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed.

Mustapha Ahmed al-Hawsawi sent cash to lead September 11 hijacker Mohammed Atta through bank accounts in Dubai and the United Arab Emirates, the officials said.

When it got close to September 11, Atta and the others sent what money was left over back to al-Hawsawi. He is known to have fled the UAE for Pakistan around the time of the attacks. He held power of attorney for one of the hijackers.

Al-Hawsawi was one of the three captured during the raid that netted Mohammed , al Qaeda's operations chief. The other man arrested was Ahmed Abdul Qadoos, a member of Pakistan's largest religious political party, who is said to be of little importance. The United States said al-Hawsawi gave authorities a false name when he was arrested. (Credit: CNN.com)


Well Hey, capturing terrorists is always good karma. I'm just wondering why it took the government practically a year and a half to find these types of top level guys. The part I can't get over is that he gave authorities a fake name. Honestly, two governments have gone to all the trouble of a raid to find you, and the best way to get out of this situation is to give them a fake name? It's good to know that Al Queda uses the same methods to avoid punishment as Bart Simpson. I wonder if Khalid Shaikh Mohammed told Federal agents that his name was Timmy O'toole.


For those of you who know me, yes, I've slipped a Simpson's reference in my very first news story.

Michael Jackson: Helping The World By Making Other People Seem Normal


Embattled pop star Michael Jackson wears a prosthetic nose and once paid $150,000 for a "voodoo curse" to kill director Steven Spielberg despite being deep in debt, Vanity Fair magazine reported on Monday.


Vanity Fair, in an article for its April issue, also reports that Jackson bleaches his skin white because he does not like being black. The 44-year-old singer sometimes refers to black people as "spabooks," the magazine said


Jackson's manager did not immediately return phone calls and a faxed request for comment on the article. Jackson's London publicist could not be reached for comment.


The onetime King of Pop has been dogged by controversy for months, first over his odd appearance in a California courtroom last November. That same month, Jackson stunned fans in Berlin by briefly dangling his young son from a hotel balcony.


And in February a British television documentary that aired to blockbuster ratings both in England and the United States caused a stir when Jackson told his interviewer that he slept in the same room, and sometimes the same bed, as young boys.


Vanity Fair reported in the article that in 2000 Jackson attended a voodoo ritual in Switzerland where a witch doctor promised that Spielberg, music mogul David Geffen and 23 other people on the entertainer's list of enemies would die.


Jackson, who underwent a "blood bath" as part of the ritual, then ordered his former business adviser Myung-Ho Lee to wire $150,000 to a bank in Mali for a voodoo chief named Baba, who sacrificed 42 cows for the ceremony, the magazine reported.

Vanity Fair reported that Jackson wears a page-boy wig and a prosthesis that serves as the tip of his nose. The magazine interviewed a source close to Jackson who said that, without the device Jackson resembles a mummy with two nostril holes. (Credit: CNN.com)


Enough is enough. First, it's "Michael Jackson looks weird!". Alright, no big deal, Michael Jackson has looked weird for years. Then it's "Michael Jackson dangles baby over balcony!". Well, ok, we've established that Jacko is one weird MFer. Followed by "Michael Jackson sleeps in the same bed as little boys!" Funny, I didn't know know Jackson had joined the cloth. Still, we knew that M.J. was a pedophile. But now not only is he using derraogatory names for his own people that I don't even understand, but he's interested in Voodoo and is trying to get Steven Speilberg Killed? Granted, the replacing guns with walkie-talkie thing in E.T. was pretty douchebag-ish, but how did Speilberg snub Jackson?

However, that's not what disturbed me most about this article. Forty-two cows were sacraficed for Jackson's "blood bath". Think about how much milk and steak and hamburgers could have been produced from forty-two cows. Such a waste. You should be ashamed Michael...that is if you weren't before.


All the other days of that don't really live in infamy: March 4

Born: 1969 Chasity Bono - Daughter Of Sonny and Cher

Chasity was quoted as saying "I can't get my mom to stop saying we're sisters, and if we stand in the sun too long she starts to melt. This is the worst birthday ever." Good Luck Chasity!

1699 JEWS ARE EXPELLED FROM LUBECK GERMANY

Move to Lubbock, Texas. New sitcom on The WB.

17911ST JEWISH MEMBER OF US CONGRESS, ISRAEL JACOBS(PA), TAKES OFFICE.

Stenographer attempts to spell the words "oy", "nosh" and "fuklemped".

1809 MADISON BECOMES 1ST PRESIDENT INAUGURATED IN AMERICAN-MADE CLOTHES

Georgio Armani's Great Grandfather cries in his room and consumes an entire pint of chocolate chip cookie dough iced cream.

1841 LONGEST INAUGURATION SPEECH (8,443 WORDS), WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON

He died in thirty days!

1863 TERRITORY OF IDAHO ESTABLISHED

Mr. Potato Head designs state flag.

1933 FDR INAUGURATED, SAYS "WE HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF

Historians later learn that FDR slept with a night-light.

1966 JOHN LENNON, SAYS "WE (BEATLES) ARE MORE POPULAR THAN JESUS"

Later appologizes and says he meant Buddha. Also admits he sleeps with a night-light.


Well that's all for the first edition of The Bueno Master Speaks I hope you learned something and got a few laughs out of it. Stick with us here at The Corner as we will bring you new columnists and interesting contests. Thank's For Reading.

-Happy Trails


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